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Black Friday Deals to Make You Squeals

Black Friday Deals to Make You Squeals

I’m not a wealthy woman. I pack my own lunch every day from work, and sometimes all that I pack is a can of beans, some shoe string, and cotton balls. Yes, I’m broke. 

That’s why I need Black Friday deals. I need them. Since I have no children and will be giving everyone else an orange with a little happy-face painted on it for Christmas, this coming Friday will be a day devoted to selfishness and cheapness. 

What should you be on the lookout for if you too are selfish and cheap?

#1 PS4

I love my PS4. It’s so worth it. But it’s going to be even more worth it with an overall cut from $399.99 to $349.99 this season. Best Buy, GameStop, Toys R Us, hhgregg, and Walmart will also be offering a console bundle for ONLY $299.99. Holy Lord why didn’t I wait until Christmas and save myself $100! I hate myself!

#2 Xbox One

Considerably less cool than the PS4 in my opinion, but the $299.99 price I just mentioned above  will apply at Target, Best Buy, hhgregg, and GameStop. Go get your inferior console for less money!

#3 Games, Games, Games

There are so many games that it would probably just be a good idea to assume the one you want will be on sale, and you better go hurry and kill someone before they take your copy. Some titles I’m especially excited about? Assasin’s Creed: Syndicate will be $35 at Target, Best Buy, and Walmart. Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain will be $35 at Target, Best Buy, and Walmart. And the cheapest yet, Batman: Arkham Knight will be a mere $25 at Target, Best Buy, and Walmart…and $30 at Game Stop. 

#4 Controllers

This is the thing I will definitely be buying this year on Black Friday. Probably the #1 for me, when I consider it. I’m downright sick and tired of people saying they could kick my butt on Mortal Kombat with no way of actually proving it. Controllers will be $39 at Walmart and $40 at Best Buy, and I think they are over 50 bucks right now. 

(May I just say, kudos to the gaming industry for figuring out that if you even have one living friend, you need to buy a second controller. And spend $50 on something that I know dang well only costs $15. Good work, you capitalist turds!)

“But, what about Amazon?!” you cry after reading about all of these stores. I also don’t really cherish the thought of putting on clothes at like 5 in the morning to go get a controller. Amazon will also partake in some Black Friday deals before Manic Monday, or whatever it’s called, Black Monday? Digital Monday? Sale Monday.

Look, go out there and spend some money. Buy the console you’ve always wanted because that will be $100 cheaper than normal, and you won’t have to go to bed feeling endless guilt…like I do. 

Happy shopping, cheap ruthless people!

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